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Memorial for Jay
These are the exact words spoken at the memorial service to remember Jay. Matt Casson, the pastor, did a wonderful job of remember and thinking of Jay. I don’t think we could have chosen a better person to speak for our sweet Jay. Baby Jay Martin Rodriguez Saturday September 12, 2015 – 10:00 A.M. PSALM 121: I will lift up my eyes to the hills Where shall my help come from? My help comes from the Lord! Maker… of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip – He who keeps you will not slumber… Behold, He who keeps you Neither slumbers nor sleeps! The Lord is…
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In Memory of Jay
We held a memorial to honor Jay’s short life. It was very hard going to a funeral home to plan services for our son that was stillborn. The funeral home was very compassionate and did a great job getting everything ready for us. We had to pick out various items for the service and make decisions on what was to be done during the services. I remember sitting in the cold, dark room of the funeral home thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this!”, “Something isn’t right!”, and “WHY!”. We put a lot of thought in to the things we picked and hoped that they would honor Jay. We…
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Baby Jay quotes, poems, and scriptures
I compiled quotes, poems, and scriptures that I read many, many times and still do that have helped me in the healing process. I know it may sound horrible, but it helps me to know that there are other people out there like me. On the other hand, it absolutely sucks that there are other people out there like me. All of the following came from searches that I did online, I just wanted them all in one place to refer back to. Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold…
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The weeks that followed
I don’t remember much from the first few weeks after I delivered Jay. Certain things stuck with me but as far as details and specific timing of some things, they’re very hazy. I remember being confused, angry, mad, and in denial. I find comfort in words. I started looking for quotes, songs, and books to read. First, I started searching Google to find words of encouragement, happiness, motivation; something to tell me it’s ok. I created a separate blog with all of the quotes, poems, and scriptures that I found during my search. I looked at them often and tried saying them to myself constantly. I then started looking for…
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Delivery Day
I woke up early to shower and get things ready for the day with tears streaming down my face. We dropped Michaela off at daycare very early and headed to the hospital. It was a long, quiet drive. What do you say when you know you are on the way to the hospital to deliver your child, but you won’t be taking him home? When we walked through the hospital doors, I lost it. I could not believe I was walking in to a hospital where I was about to deliver my baby who was no longer alive. My husband embraced me and helped me walk to the elevator. Still…
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Finding out about losing Jay
The day we found out we lost Jay was one of the worst days of my life. I was in complete denial and thought is was all a bad dream that I would soon wake up from. Two weeks before, I had come home from work exhausted, after all I was 22 weeks pregnant and a teacher at the beginning of the school year. It was the first week of school for students, but my third week in a new school district. I didn’t know many people, which I think made things a little bit more difficult. I laid down on the couch to rest and Baby J started moving…
