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March of Dimes
It’s almost time for the March of Dimes walk. This will be our 7th year walking in the March of Dimes. We started walking for our close friends who lost their sweet angel full term. At the time we started walking with them, we ourselves, thought that a loss like that was so very rare. Our hearts went out to them. We didn’t know what to say, but we walked. We supported. In hindsight, we could have done so much more but we didn’t know. The 3rd year that we walked in the March of Dimes, I was actually pregnant with Jay. We were very early and did not say…
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Returning to Work After a Loss
When I lost Jay, I took three weeks off from work. I didn’t know how to cope with the loss, much less return to the classroom and teach. Everyone at school was so supportive. They brought food over everyday, sent cards, and messages with their condolences. My Assistant Principal contacted me about sending out a letter to the parents regarding my loss. The parents and students all knew I was pregnant, although I had just started in a new school district. I met them all at Meet the Teacher night, very big and 21 weeks pregnant. I do not know what the letter said, but it was sent out to…
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Why me?
Have you ever found yourself asking, “Why me?” I have a million times since losing Jay! It’s hard to make sense of the fact that God would allow you to become pregnant with a baby, but then take it away. I believe I am a good Christian. I believe in God. I believe that many who have gone before me are watching over me in heaven and taking care of my sweet Jay. I can see my grandmother rocking him to sleep and telling him all about the camping trips she took us on! I can see Sadie running around, playing with Jay. I see my grandpa teaching Jay how…
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Happy Father’s Day to All Fathers!
Happy Father’s Day to all of the father’s out there! I know how infant loss can affect mothers, because I am a mother who has lost her child. I am not so sure how infant loss affects fathers, I’ve never felt loss in their shoes. My husband was very strong for me. I have only seen him cry a handful of times in the 18 years we’ve known each other. One of those times was when we lost Jay and a few times in the months that followed. He was heartbroken, but I could tell he also felt he needed to be strong for our family. I hope all fathers…
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Wedding Dresses for Angel Babies
If you are looking to donate your wedding dress to a special cause, consider donating to The Wrapped in Love Project. A good friend of mine asked me if I knew of a place where she could donate her wedding dress; specifically, a place that would make outfits for babies who have passed. I really hadn’t thought about that much. I started doing some research and found Charlotte’s Purpose. You can send your wedding dress to them and they will make angel baby gowns and pockets for infants who pass before, during, or after pregnancy. I was honored when my friend decided to donate her dress in honor of Jay. …
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Online Support Groups for Pregnancy and Infant Loss
When I lost Jay, I started looking in to support groups. I wanted to find other people who had lost their child during pregnancy, so that I could have someone to relate to. I was blown away by how many people have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. I did not think this was something that was “normal”, but I soon found out it was. I had always thought, if you made it past the first trimester you were in the clear. Nothing would happen because people only lost their babies during that first trimester. Even after our friends baby was stillborn at 39 weeks, I thought that was just so…
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Thoughtful Gift Ideas for a Grieving Mother
I have received many thoughtful gifts from several wonderful friends. Gifts are definitely not a must, but are very considerate. If you are looking for ideas on what to do for someone, here are some suggestions based on items I received that brought me comfort in some way. My school FamiLE brought a basket of goodies by when I got home from the hospital. It was full of snacks, magazines, crossword puzzles, and cards. They also sent a plant that I planted in my flower bed. Different people from my school and many friends of ours made sure we had dinner almost every night for the first two weeks after…
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Breaking the Silence-What do you say?
Everyone processes loss differently. No two people will ever grieve the same way. One thing is true, loss SUCKS! Losing a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or really anytime is not talked about enough. I think this is because it’s so unimaginable. Children should not pass before their parents. A child should not die in the mother’s womb, where ithey’re supposed to be completely protected. I know some people don’t think a baby is a baby until it’s born. I challenge them to say that after they’ve seen or held their stillborn child, perfectly formed weighing only one pound. All lives really do matter. You may not know what to say…
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Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the women with children in their arms, miles away, in their heart, and in heaven. Today is a day that we honor all mother’s, but some remain unnamed because their babies are not here on Earth and were only here for a short time. I feel that all children should be honored, no matter when the loss occurred. Whether you only carried your baby for a few weeks, a few months, until the day of your due date, a few months after they were born, or years after they were born. We must continue to share our stories and break the silence. Our children…
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I am 1 in 4
The term 1 in 4 hits so close to home for me. 1 in 4 women will have a miscarriage and 1 in 160 will birth a stillborn child. Stillbirths are not common but are not rare. They happen more often than you think they do. At the time I was pregnant with Jay, 3 of my best friends were also pregnant. We talked about what life would be like with our children being within 7 months of each other. We were excited that we would have children that would be so close in age to each other and grow up together. I was the 1 of the 4…
