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I am 1 in 4
The term 1 in 4 hits so close to home for me. 1 in 4 women will have a miscarriage and 1 in 160 will birth a stillborn child. Stillbirths are not common but are not rare. They happen more often than you think they do. At the time I was pregnant with Jay, 3 of my best friends were also pregnant. We talked about what life would be like with our children being within 7 months of each other. We were excited that we would have children that would be so close in age to each other and grow up together. I was the 1 of the 4…
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In Memory of Jay
We held a memorial to honor Jay’s short life. It was very hard going to a funeral home to plan services for our son that was stillborn. The funeral home was very compassionate and did a great job getting everything ready for us. We had to pick out various items for the service and make decisions on what was to be done during the services. I remember sitting in the cold, dark room of the funeral home thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this!”, “Something isn’t right!”, and “WHY!”. We put a lot of thought in to the things we picked and hoped that they would honor Jay. We…
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The weeks that followed
I don’t remember much from the first few weeks after I delivered Jay. Certain things stuck with me but as far as details and specific timing of some things, they’re very hazy. I remember being confused, angry, mad, and in denial. I find comfort in words. I started looking for quotes, songs, and books to read. First, I started searching Google to find words of encouragement, happiness, motivation; something to tell me it’s ok. I created a separate blog with all of the quotes, poems, and scriptures that I found during my search. I looked at them often and tried saying them to myself constantly. I then started looking for…
